My Reader would be forgiven for wondering why I am writing a review on what is a commercial advertisement for lawn turf. Do let me explain.
Canturf, which I can incidentally recommend as fine purveyors of quality turf should you wish to re-do your lawn after your visit to Canberra, are well known locally for their advertisements which are frequently either political puns or loaded with sexual innuendo, the latter based on Canturf’s proximity to the suburb of Fyshwick.
The advertisement signs, all looking the same apart from the slogan, are placed on Canturf’s lawn/turf growing gardens along side the Monaro Highway between Canberra City and Fyshwick. The ads constantly change – though the one depicted here has stood the test of time and has been on display for years.
Still confused where I am going here?
If I tell you that the suburb of Fyshwick, in addition to being a vibrant commercial centre during the day, is the place to go, day or night, for all your sexual accoutrements and, relating to the Canturf advertisement, to have your sexual desires fulfilled then you will hopefully understand the advertisement. If you are as saintly as me, Dear Reader, it may take you a little time to work it out!
I will leave it to those seeking to acquire whatever it is they need in the sex department to investigate further. I need not add addresses or other contact details here, naturally I do not have the specifics to hand anyway. Having arrived in Fyshwick, of an evening, just head for the bright lights, liberally scattered though the commercial suburb, and you will find what you want and probably more! Given Canberra’s more liberal laws than the rest of Australia the range of what is legally available here is wider than elsewhere – so I am told.
Those merely seeking some garden furniture, a new bed (that is to buy rather than for short term hire), a new vacuum cleaner, or indeed some turf for their lawn will also be amply rewarded by a visit to Fyshwick, though you will have to go during regular 9 to 5 trading hours.
Other advertisements recently and currently in use by Canturf include –
• Lawngerie modelled here
• It’s sexy and you grow it
• It’s greener than brown (this one will be lost on non Australians so by way of explanation, Bob Brown is a former leader of the Greens Party in Australia)
• Fifty shades of green
• We’re easy to get a lawn with
• It’s been nice mowing you
• Looks Good Mown, eh Lisa’ (a bit more abstract so to help you – Looks good Mona Lisa)
• Kiss my Grass
• Trespassers will be impressed
• People in grass house shouldn’t grow stones
• We like our customers to walk all over us
• Lawning? Take a Rake.
Should you have a bright idea for Canturf’s next advertisement do pop into their office in Fyshwick (9-5!). If your idea is used you will be rewarded with A$250. A select few people can depart Fyshwick with more money than when they arrive.
For my next CANBERRA – INNER NORTH review click HERE.
For other Canberra reviews click HERE.
The Rambling Wombat 